Stealing

I don't even know where to begin. The last few weeks have been crazy. Cary quit his job, and got another one. He is a Halliburton man, again. My new neighbors threatened to call the cops on our, and I quote, "Loud coffee night." It's not MY fault that you put your kids down at 8:30. Sooo...

Today, by far, has been the most interesting of them all. Yes, even more than cop calling neighbors. Today was Big Trash Day. It really should be considered a national holiday. Not to mention the kick off to garage sale season was on Friday. There is only one other thing in the world better than getting other people's crap for cheap. Getting other people's crap for freeeee. And by free, I mean going threw their trash.

We started the day by grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. Can I just say that I loathe Wal-Mart. The parking is horrible, the shoppers are always pissed, and the employees are rude. If you manage to get threw all of that, you have a line to wait in that's at least a quarter of a mile long. I'm usually in a happy mood, and I talk to my kids, not ignore them like 90% of the people that shop there. I always get people staring at me, which I'm pretty used to and I don't care anymore. I love my kids and they are my family. ANYWAY, before I rant, lets get back on track. One year-old babies can't talk, when they want something they grunt, or scream, or however they get your attention, regardless they can't talk. So I was grunting right along with Evelyn, people staring, some of them smiling. When out of nowhere a Wal-Mart employee covered his ears and complained about the noise. I said "You work at Wal-Mart, this is what kids do. You should be used to it. Get over it." He mumbled something about my kids. I honestly couldn't understand him but my Momma Bear claws came out and I ripped him a new one. I don't even know what I said, but I'm sure it wasn't what a Christian woman should say! I could not stop the words from oozing out of my mouth I was so steaming with anger. I will do ANYTHING not to shop at Wal-Mart, and now I remember why!

After Wal-Mart, it was off to pick up Heather. She's our little house elf, and we like to have her around. She told us to stop by the store so she could pick up some sodas for tonight. I know I don't have to say this, but we didn't go to Wal-Mart.

On our way back from Crest, Cary was cruising threw the neighborhood. My heart stopped when I found a perfectly good outdoor table just sitting out in the open waiting for trash day. All it needed was a little paint and it would be good as new. I all but kicked Cary out of the car to get it. He pulled it to the car and opened the back hatch. And looked... and saw his new pride and joy, a charcoal grill. Now we have a dilemma, three adults, two kids, one dog, a table, and a grill. What to do, what to do. Cary was NOT going to leave his grill, so he set the table in the car, sat down in the back of the car and held on to the grill while I drove home. Yes, ladies and gents, I was dragging the grill behind the car. No man left behind! I guess in this case it would be no grill left behind.

As I was driving in excess of five miles an hour, with my husband in the back holding on to my table and dragging his grill behind us and telling me to slow down, we had a disaster. The wheels came off of the grill! All I heard was steel scraping the pavement and "WE HAVE A MAN DOWN!" coming from Cary. His solution: tell us to drop off the table and come back for him. He is really in love with this grill. So that's what we did. I even kicked the dog out of the car and left him at home and turned around to get Cary.

This is something that I love about Oklahoma, the neighbors will come out and help you load stolen trash into your car. While laughing, mind you.

You wouldn't believe what people throw away. Today we found a table, grill, 3 lawn chairs, 2 side tables, 2 hose reels, an umbrella for my new table, a lawnmower, and a battery powered kid Jeep. And the day before we found an entertainment center, it looks brand new, it's just missing the glass. Which is fine because I'm putting it in Jaxson's room.

Thank you, God. Thank you for not putting the embarrassment gene in my DNA. Life is so much better when you're not worried about what people are saying. It's fun dancing in the isles of Crest with your bestie. Or stealing a grill with your husband.

Moving Day- Part 2

Can I just take a second to thank my mother for putting up with our mess and my father for putting up with my mother. I'm happy to say we are out of my parents house and into our own. I am also happy to say that everybody made it out alive.

The actual moving experience was good. We moved fairly quickly since all of our belongings were in the garage. Of course it had to rain, it wouldn't be moving day with out a little rain. And we picked up Heather to help.

We didn't have the kids with us so Cary, Heather, Doggy and I piled in the Uhaul. As we were unloading. Cary and Heather were carrying on, like they normally do. I swear they are just like siblings. I was in the truck literally throwing things. When you move as much as I do, you don't care if something breaks... OK, you do care... you just care less. Anyway, I threw out one of Jaxson's tents that look like a school bus. It has a little steering wheel and windows and doors, and Cary caught it, but after he caught it he unfolded it and put it on. To make things even weirder, Heather jumped in there with him and they started driving it around the garage. Making little car sounds and Heather said she was on the short bus. You know those moments in life that are just meant for you and your friends and somebody, an "outsider" sees one of those moments? That was Cary and Heather, our new neighbors walked up to greet us for the first time when they were dancing around the garage in their short bus. What a way to meet the neighbors! I was just happy that it wasn't me. It usually is.

After we got done with the Uhaul we ran to Wal-Mart. Let me just say, there is nothing like three grown adults in a Uhaul that need a shower.

The next day we moved the rest of our things. The make ready guy was still working on the house when we arrived. Every time Cary said anything about unloading the Uhaul, the guy came running in to ask Cary to help with something. After almost two hours of trying to get unpacked, my con artist husband pulled the guy aside and ended up with three beers and $30. Only Cary.

We finally got everything in the garage and my mom came over to help paint. Little did I know that I needed her to pep talk me before I cleaned the bathroom. How come black hair is the worst thing you can find in your drain? On a woman it's exotic and beautiful, but when it's stuck to your bath tub it makes you want to vomit. The worst part is, is that the black hair is everywhere. In the tub, toilet, the kitchen! But it gets even better, in the master bathroom. We had those shower doors, you know the ones that slide. I couldn't even look at them they were so nasty so I had Cary pull them off. Under the metal there was mold and BLACK HAIR. I'm surrounded.

Cary Bishop's Day Off

Interesting day, to say the least. The day started normal and boring. Coffee, breakfast, facebook. I usually do all those things at once. I decided I should start cleaning up and putting things together because we're moving at the end of this week.

By my third load of laundry I was feeling anxious, bored. Cary is working nights now so I decided he needed to be ambushed to relieve my boredom. Like any loving, caring wife I walked into the bedroom quietly. And I body slammed him. One of the many things that I love about my husband is that he's not stupid, he was actually ready for me and countered my attack. After our morning wrestling session (get your head out of the gutter) I got the kids ready to go out for the day.

We wanted to say hi to Grandma, and since she is a door greeter at Wal-Mart that's were we headed. As soon as we got in the car Evelyn fell asleep. When we pulled up to Wal-Mart, Cary decided to just run in the store since the baby was still asleep. After waiting, for it seemed like, forever I got in the driver seat to drive around the parking. I got to the second set of doors and I heard a blood curtailing scream and saw this kid (I say kid, but he was probley 20ish) running with a purse. At first I thought it was a couple of kids goofing around and decided it wasn't my business. Until the kid ran around the store to the back. I was on high alert and punched the gas to catch up to him. I was up next to him and I was going to open my door, Starkey and Hutch style but he turned a different direction. I actually thought of hitting him with my car, but remembered that hitting a person with your car is sort of illegal... He put his hands up like he was about to give up. I said "Give the the purse or go to jail, your choice" and I swear he was about to throw the purse and jet but instead she took off WITH the purse. DAMMIT! I couldn't get to him, he was gone. I dwelled on it for the rest of the day.

Cary told me how stupid I was for going after the guy, but I could tell he liked his little pit bull of a wife. He drove around until I was able to calm down, he even drove behind all the stores so I would feel like I did something. I knew Cary knew the guy was long gone but I loved how he humored me.

We ended up at Eldon Lion Park to talk a stroll, get the kids out in the sun. Did you know that the squirrels in that park will come up to you? It was the strangest thing. Jaxson would get behind the little animals and scare them. The squirrels must have gotten together because they started chasing him, and then Cary. There is nothing in this world funnier than a 6'4" man running from squirrels.

Moving Weekend, Part 1

It's official, I live in my parents garage. Hopefully our house will be ready in a few weeks, I just don't know if my body is willing to move all my crap again in such a short time.

On Friday Cary and I headed down to Beebe. My parents said they would watch the kids, so it was a child free weekend. It sounded great in our heads, but we miss our little rug rats. In true Bishop fashion, since it was moving weekend, it started to rain. All the way to Arkansas it was pouring down rain. And it wasn't just rain, it was monster rain drops. The kind of rain drops that want to eat your soul. When we pulled up to our house the rain dispersed and we started to put our things into boxes, cleaning the house, all and all got the house ready for the moving truck. In a stroke of brilliance I decided we should try to find the Budget Truck rental location. Turns out, you should make sure you have the correct address before you try to find where you're supposed to be. We spent 45 minuets trying to find the stupid place just to find out we weren't even in the right city.

The next morning, with the right address, we got our truck. We were even on time. The only people we had to help move us were... Cary and me... Even though I'm very experienced with moving I still hate doing it. I really truly HATE my couches. They are heavy, and I loathe the very thought of moving them again when we move into our Oklahoma house. On our way out of the front door with my stupid sleeper sofa, the wasps decided to come out and chase us. Cary was off the front porch and put the couch down right by the wasps nest! I was stuck between the couch and the front door. I didn't know I could jump that high and move that fast. I was NOT going to get stung. I jumped over the couch and was out by the street before Cary even started to laugh at me.

After a full day of moving everything we own in a 24' truck we headed back to Oklahoma. We made it all the way to Shawnee and had to pull over. We were so tired. Lucky us, we got to stay in a Motel 6. After getting the moving truck, gas, and food, that was all we could afford. Not too big of a deal since the kids weren't with us and we were so tired it didn't make a difference which hotel we stayed in, as long as it had a bed we were good. The walls were paper thin and half the night we heard, this very loud man, talking. I was half asleep so I couldn't make out what he was saying, but I wanted to slap him until he shut up. After I fell into a deep sleep I heard a baby crying. I all but kicked Cary out of the bed because I thought Evelyn was crying. I hate being that tired, but most of all I hate when people wake me up.

When we woke up our tummy's were rumbling. We were right off the highway and there is always a McDonald's off the highway. Since he was in a huge truck we went inside. I rolled down the window for Doggy, got my bag, and went inside. While Cary was ordering I got a table, hung my bag on my chair and fixed my coffee. After my delicious breakfast burrito we headed back out for the short 50 minuet drive to Oklahoma City.

I was so excited to see my babies, Jaxson ran out of the house and jumped in my arms. My dad gave me the left over money I had left them, and I put it in my back pocket. After I said my hellos and gave my kisses I ran into the bedroom to fix their Easter baskets. I put them on the front porch and went to the car to get my bag, were my camera is. I opened the door and it wasn't there. With a puzzled look on my face I walked in the house to see if I put it somewhere else. Nobody has seen it, so I went to the car again. Oh. My. Gosh. I left my bag WITH MY CAMERA in the McDonald's in Shawnee! I thought I was going to hyperventilate. Cary jumped on his phone to call the McDonald's and nobody would answer. I was thinking of the worst possible thing, that somebody stole my camera and how devastated I would be. After about 20 phone calls with no answer, somebody finally answered the phone, found my bag and the camera was still in it. I had a sigh of relief. I stuck my hand in my back pocket to retrieve the left over money so we could put gas in the car. And the money was gone. WHAT!? I looked in all my pockets, under the bed, in the car, in the moving truck, the garage. You name it, it was over turned. When I got done tearing up the garage I turned around to go inside. The handle on the door didn't turn but I was still walking and walked smack in the garage door. What is it with me, when I'm upset, and doors? It made me mad enough to turn around and walk threw the front lawn instead of the garage. And there was my money laying in the grass. We went to Shawnee to get my camera back in my possession, I was never so happy to see it.

I'm glad this weekend is O V E R. I feel blessed that we're back where we belong and that everything made it, even my camera and gas money. Now we start the count down for our new house!

Beach Balls and Glass Doors

It's been two weeks...ish since we moved in with my mom. We actually are moving our stuff in this weekend and then it's a few more weeks until we get our house. I put the deposit on the house today in fact.

I decided, since I had the car and errands to run, that I needed to kidnap Heather. Here's something to chew on, every time Heather and I run around together I feel like the cops are watching me more than they usually do. I know it's probably in my head but Heather brings out the best... and worst... in me. The worst is, I act like a 16 year old again. Not only a 16 year old, but a 16 year old that normal blue collared adults are scared of. The best is... well... I'll let you know when it happens. ;)

We had a full day today, pay the deposit, oil change, and Target. We even made a trip to the park with Katherine. After all was done and over with (and I didn't get pulled over, or arrested) it was time to take Heather and Makayla home. On our way to her house we saw a beach ball blow across the road. It survived threw four lanes of rush hour traffic and the little beach ball landed in a ditch. It wouldn't have been such a sad sight if it wasn't for the four little boys standing by the fence looking like they just lost their puppy. Heather just looked at me and I knew we were thinking the same thing. I made a U turn and all but stopped traffic just to get the silly ball. I turned my hazards on and before I even stopped, Heather had the door open ready to pounce. She looked like a cat hunting a mouse. She's really good at high pressure activities, like chasing beach balls in the middle of rush hour... just an example. Needless to say, the kids were very happy to have their ball back.

Later that evening Cary came home after a long hard day. He's been trying to quit smoking and it's been a pretty rocky month. Not only is he trying to quit smoking but we're staying with my parents until our house is ready, moving, and he started a new job. My poor husband can't catch a break. If you have ever tried to quit smoking you know how hard it is, but just so we're all clear your spouse feels your pain. As soon as he came in the door he was ready for a fight. He got me all huffed up and I was ready to let him have it. I got up from where I was sitting and I headed outside so we wouldn't fight in front of the kids. OK, I know fighting in front of the neighbors isn't a great idea either but I weighed my options and thought it was best. I unlocked the door and opened it, successfully. You know how you open a door and walk threw it at the same time? I tried to do that. Emphasis on the word "tried". I was still running my mouth to Cary and I ran smack in to the glass door, both the front doors were locked and I only opened the first one. I cursed myself but couldn't help but laugh at my situation. The fight lost it's fire after that. Thank you God for good timing.

New Challange

New Car - Check
New Job - Check
NEW HOUSE?! - Check

That's right, we're moving back! We found a wonderful house in NW OKC. Here is the catch, we can't move in until April 8th, or even later. That means we'll be lucky enough to stay with my parents...

Anybody that has moved back in knows how much of a big deal that is. Not to say my parents are crazy... but they are crazy. Parents will always be parents no matter how old they are, or you for that fact. The way you do something isn't the way they do something and thats when we start to butt heads.

So say a little prayer for everybody involved! I will keep you posted!

A Man and His TV

A few ways to test your marriage: buy and put together one of those wooden play swings for your kids or drive for long distances.

We have done both. The latest was driving from Oklahoma, to Arkansas, then back to Oklahoma. And why would we do this you ask? Because Cary had to get his TV... I'm not kidding. OK OK, he had to get his paycheck so the trip wasn't a total waist. Also, we decided to move back to Oklahoma. We're just not very good Arkansans. So, Cary quit his job and found another one, and he officially starts on Monday. We decided to run to Arkansas to tie up some loose ends, get his paycheck, and his TV. I use the term "run to Arkansas" loosely, since it's about a six hour drive to our house. Have you done the math? Twelve hour drive. And that is with no stops. We had Evelyn so of course we made about twenty.

I was going to drive out, since it was beautiful outside it was nice and safe for me. There is no way I was going to drive at night in the rain and snow. I crossed the border and this is where I decided that Semi Truck Drivers have it harder than I ever thought they did. I would make a very BAD over the road trucker. What part of "Slower Traffic Keep Right" is so hard? You have 15 people tailgating you, get the hell over to the slow lane! Your car has cruise control for a reason, USE it. I spent at least an hour fighting with the stupid driver in the fast lane. I would pass her, she would pass me. Then she would get in front of me and slow down. At this point I was screeeeeaming at her, cursing her and swearing that if I was the semi truck her dumb driving would no longer be a problem.

We got to the house in Arkansas and, thankfully, I didn't run anybody off the road. We gave ourselves an hour to get everything we needed and get back on the road before it started to snow. First thing on the list? You got it, the TV. We got it in the garage just to find out that it wasn't going to fit in our car. All the sudden I had a light bulb idea. Take the base off! Genius. It would slide right in, perfectly. Cary got down to the last bolt and it was stripped out. He had a light bulb idea. Turn the base and it would unscrew the last bolt. OK, yes... it was a redneck idea. But I thought it would work out fine. It was working out great, until the base got stuck. Cary and I looked at each other with dumbfounded looks on our face and in that split second the base fell and broke into a million little pieces on my foot. Lets just say that Cary would have made a great sailor with all the words that were spewing out of his mouth. And in true Amy fashion I was laughing until tears were running down my face. What else can you do when something like that happens?

So now Cary is mad and it's his turn to drive. Not the greatest combination in the world. He'll start on something and we'll end up meeting the side of the road. When we crossed the boarder going in to Oklahoma it started to rain. As I was listening to the rain beat on the window of the car I realized that I needed to be away from my loving husband. Far, far away. I have spent way too much time with the love of my life and it was time to get out of the car. Too bad I had another three hours to go. It started raining extremely hard. I am not good in heavy rain and thunderstorms. I'm fine in my own house but rough weather really stresses me out. Between me and Cary you could cut the tension with a knife. Then it started snowing.

Why do people think they are invincible? The guy in front of us decided to go for a ride in the slush and slam into the concrete barrier. That stressed me out even more. I wanted to go home, and Cary... my sweet husband, was going to pull over to the side of the highway, in the snow, to help this guy. I FREAKED out on him. I went over to the deep end at that moment. I felt my blood pressure raise. Cary was in the driver seat laughing as hard as I was when the TV stand broke. When somebody is at their breaking point, don't mess with them! We counted ten cars that had spun out and hit the wall. This was not helping me. Some how, by the grace of God, we made it to my mother's house alive. So did the TV.

Now, my husband bought me New Moon as a make up gift. Shhhhh no more talky talky!

111 Miles to Graceland

Cary and I woke up this morning and I, for whatever reason, wanted to go on a ride. I was fine just driving around little towns in Arkansas, maybe find a little unknown place to eat, then go home. Cary looked at the map and decided that Hot Springs, AR looked like a good place to take a drive.

We got into Little Rock where he "took a wrong turn" and some how ended up on the way to Memphis, TN. Cary doesn't get lost, especially in the southern states, he was an over the road driver and he knows those highways pretty well. He looked at me with this "up to something" smile. And we started our adventure to Graceland. For those of you who know me, know that this was a childhood dream that came true. While most kids loved Hanson, N*Sync, and Back Street boys, I was the weird kid who liked Elvis. Growing up I had curtains, bears, pillows, tee shirts, Elvis action figures. I knew every song, I watched all the movies, I can even do the Elvis lip.

We took a right onto Elvis Presley Blvd. and I could hardly contain myself. To make things even better I was listing to Suspicious Lies when we pulled up and I was dancing in the car with a cheesy smile on my face. We got our tickets (VIP is the only way to go) and we were on our way to Elvis' house. The thing about the house is that you can't bring strollers in. My baby girl is just a baby... but not a normal sized 11 month old. She's as big as an 18 month old baby. And by 18 months they can usually give you a break and walk a few steps. Even at 11 months some kids can walk, but not mine. Cary graciously carried her threw crowded rooms and tight hall ways, bumping people and walls as we walked by. Not only was the house full of people in small, tight spaces but on top of that Evelyn was letting them loose. My baby had gas. But on the upside people didn't follow too close to us. My hands were full of stuff that we couldn't leave behind in the stroller, and I was hanging onto Jaxson so he wouldn't run into the restricted areas and end up breaking something. This was also the start of "Mommy, I'm hungry" even though we just ate. All of this while trying to listen to the head set they give you when you start the tour and take as many pictures as my camera could hold.

Thankfully we made it with out getting thrown out, just in time to walk the grounds in the rain. Now usually I would call it a day and come back some other time, but we dropped $140 already and I was going to get my money worth, God was looking out for us and our wallets because it didn't rain too hard.

After I got all the pictures I could of the house it was time to go across the street to look at the cars and airplanes. The bus came to pick us up, Jaxson ran to the back and I sat next to him. Another "Mommy I'm hungry" popped out of him mouth, and of course another "We will eat in a minuet" popped out of mine. We were in the shuttle before Cary and Evelyn were so we just made ourselves comfortable until they arrived. Since Cary carried Evelyn threw the entire house he plopped down at the first seat he could get to, he turned to me and asked me to move to the front with him. I giggled and I said "Don't you remember that the cool kids sit at the back of the bus?" In true Cary fashion, he did not miss a beat, said "Yes baby, you are the coolest kid I know, in the back of the short bus". Thanks honey, I love you too.

Another "Mommy I'm hungry"

I just want to know what it is about breakable items that a 4 year old (and clumsy husbands) are so attracted to. As soon as we were in the gift shop his (their) hands were on EVERYTHING. And, as you know, gift shops are extremely over priced. It was like chasing a Jack Russel in an ice storm, I couldn't get my hands on him, he would turn, and then he was gone in a flash.

"Mommy, I'm hungry and I want to see the airplanes"

One more stop before the airplanes and Jaxson decided to have a complete meltdown out of nowhere. I'm in Graceland and my child is having a melt down. Elvis himself was laughing at me, I just knew it.

"Mooooooooooommy.... I'm huuuuuuuuungry", "Jaxson, honey, we're going to the airplanes and then we'll get something to eat".

Walking into the "Lisa Marie" was amazing. Even the seat belt clips were 24 ct. gold. Everything is covered in heavy clear vinyl to protect the furniture. Jaxson was a perfect angel, until we got to the back of the plane and decided that the thick vinyl didn't need to be on the bed anymore. I stopped, my eyes got huge, and I didn't know what else to do other than run. So that's what I did... I ran out of the airplane with Jaxson's hand in mine. I ditched Cary and Evelyn, I was sure Cary acted like he didn't know us anyway.

There was one more store and walk threw and we were going to go eat. By this time Jaxson wouldn't stop saying he was hungry. We had plans to eat at this great chicken place my mother told us about, after we looked at everything. There is a place called Rockabilly's in Graceland but it's $15 for a burger and Jaxson doesn't eat that much. As we walked by Rockabilly's Jaxson threw himself into the window and proclaimed he was not going anywhere. He wanted to eat there and that was as far as he was going. Some how we talked him into the car, got lost, and ended up at Applebee's.

All and all, we had a blast. Jaxson is a great kid, he's funny and witty. I love to write about him and his crazy ways.

ADHD

On Wednesday my wonderful cousin, Kiele, had her first baby so I decided that I needed to see her and that beautiful baby. That's right folks, another Bishop road trip. This time Cary had to work and I was all alone with my two crazy offspring. The road trip up there was uneventful, nobody threw up, bled, or died. That makes for a very nice trip.



That Friday, Katherine and I took the kids to the park to fly kites. It was three kids against two adults and guess who won...

I think they would have beat her with sticks if I wasn't there.

When it was time to leave my great hometown of Oklahoma City I realized how much I missed my husband. I never knew, until today, how much he does for our family. I packed up the car by myself, I don't know how Cary does it. Everything is a puzzle piece and he carefully selects a certain object to go in a certain place. He makes it look like no big deal. For a normal person it shouldn't be a big deal. Me on the other hand stuffed, pulled, and pushed. I was going nowhere. There were legs, hair, and arms thrown in the air. By the end of it I was drenched in sweat and ready to get on the road. We said our goodbyes to my parents and I was getting excited to get going and see my husband. I was ready to get on the open road and relax. For whatever reason I was really anxious and couldn't calm down. I don't know if it was Veggie Tales blaring in my ears or the gridlocked I 40, maybe it was the constant ringing of my phone (which was stuck under my seat). Whatever it was some how we made it out alive. The kids even fell asleep for a little bit.

Here is something interesting about me, I have three hours of Veggie Tale songs on my iPod and even when the kids are asleep I still listen to it. AND I know all the words, I didn't know I knew the words but there I was singing along by myself with the kids asleep.

Around Shawnee,OK Evelyn woke up grunting. If you have kids you will know that sound very well. I figured I might as well put gas in the car and change her at the same time. Here is another "I miss Cary" moment. I guess I don't pump my own gas... ever. I started yelling at the stupid pump for not working the way they did when I was 16. I don't know what zip code my bank is in, why is that even necessary?! After that little fiasco I pushed the button for the gas I needed, and pushed it... and pushed it again. And cancelled, then tried it again. Then I realized that I was pushing the stickers, not the buttons. It's moments like these that give blonde's a bad name.

I got the gas and was on my way home, it felt like it took forever to get to Arkansas. I crossed the boarder and had another three hours to go. As soon as I made it into Arkansas ADD kicked in and I wanted to be done driving. I started bouncing in the driver seat. ADD quickly turned into ADHD and all of the sudden I was acting like an ADHD child in church, in the middle of prayer. I actually started making faces at people when I drove by them. And just to get some entertainment I would drive slow in the fast lane. How annoying is that?! I don't know what my problem was but I'm so glad to have my wonderful husband back. When I got home there was roses in the kitchen table. I am so grateful and blessed to be so spoiled.

New Car

I was right, the road trip going home was interesting. But before we get to that let me back track. We had a great time in Oklahoma City. I spent half of Saturday with my mom, spent some time with my friends and their wonderful kids, took care of some loose ends, and Cary even bought me a new car. We had a wonderful time.

The thing with a brand new off the lot car is that you're so careful not to spill anything in it and you drive it like it's going to scratch if somebody looks at it the wrong way. You're so careful that all your effort is waisted. I drove it home from the dealership and I was finally calming down from the chaos. (Evelyn would not stop crying, and there is nothing in the world like a mad baby while you're signing your life away for a loan. And you know they never hurry when you're stressed out.) I was on the Kilpatrick Turn Pike when I noticed a car on the side of the road. Naturally I got into the left hand lane to pass him. What I did not notice was his front bumper laying in the left hand lane, which I ran over. It was the most awful sound I have ever heard. I said a few choice words and Jaxson started hysterically laughing and telling me he was going to tell Daddy. Have you ever had to beg to a four year old to keep his mouth shut? It's not that easy. We made it home without anything else going wrong, and of course I kept my eye on the rear view mirror just to make sure my car wasn't going to lose anything.

The next day Cary had to take the car up to the dealership to get detailed and to fill out the warranty paperwork. That night my mother said she would watch the kids for a date night. Of course we ended up fighting. It's not that we fight a lot, we really don't, it's that all of our fights end up being a hilarious story. We decided to cut our losses from the night and went home to my mother's house. Now, the house is on a hill. Not a steep hill but the car is very low. He backed up and hit the curb with the back bumper, pulled forward and I swear half the car was hanging by one screw. Of course he fixed it but now there is a huge scratch on the bumper. That's when I decided to come clean about my little incident. I didn't feel so bad now, my boo boo wasn't nearly as bad as his.

We had a great time in OKC but all good things come to an end. So we packed up and we were on our way home. I drove half way there with nothing happening. I pulled into a Shell gas station for a gas, diaper change, potty break and then Cary would drive the rest of the way home. An hour into the exchange Doggy jumped into my lap with something all over him. I cleaned him up with baby wipes, and I reluctantly looked in the back seat to see what it was. Being a mother has taught me not to ask a lot of questions, but there are some things I can't ignore. Sure enough the puppy threw up in the back seat and all over my poor ole Doggy. To make matters worse Jaxson saw it. Jaxson has a VERY weak stomach and can't handle any bodily fluids from anybody... or anything. As soon as I saw his eyes look down I knew we were in trouble, and he threw up ON the puppy.

I really miss that new car smell...

Road Trip - OKC

When I say six hours in a car what do you think? When I say six hours in a car with two kids under five and two dogs what do you think? Needless to say I have to be half insane to live my life, I have to be clinically insane to be in the car for that long with my family.

The day started like any other road trip day. Cary was running errands, I was packing everything we needed, and the kids were eating breakfast. Then I took the dogs outside to do their business. Cary came home, and I don't know what it is about road trip days, but I am sooo not myself. It's like as soon as I saw him I wanted to fight. I think he knew this too. Because he looked at me and started grabbing things to put in the car just so he didn't have to look into my crazy eye.

I calmed down after we got things settle in the car and we were on the road. So I thought. Cary reminded me that we had to go pay a few bills before we left. I was like, totally fine not a big deal. So an hour later in the car... we start our six hour journey to Oklahoma. I don't think we made it on to I 40 when the kids started getting restless.

At some point, I don't know when or how, the conversation Cary and I were having turned into a fight. It was one of those "I don't even remember what we were fighting about" fights. I even did the Mad Wife pose. You know what it is, fold your arms, cross your legs, and look out the window. I had everything but the bottom lip sticking out. Turns out that if your husband leaves you like that for awhile you'll fall asleep. Who knew! What a great defence for a man. And of course I wasn't mad anymore. Until he opened his mouth... some how we stopped fighting just as we were coming in to Midwest City. We just stopped fighting, and it was quiet and peaceful. Franky, our puppy was just starting to whimper. I figured he was tired and ready to get out of the car. The whimper turned into a full on yelp, then Evelyn started to scream, then Jaxson was yelling for them to be quiet, and THEN Doggy started to howl. And on top of all of that noise, my wonderful husband whom I have been fighting with most of this trip, decided that he needed to chime in and tell everybody to stop yelling. From Tinker AFB to I 40 and Morgan road, this is what I heard. All of the sudden Franky jumps out of Jaxson's arms and decides he wanted to go in the back window, everybody stops, and starts laughing at our crazy new puppy. Until we figured out what our new little puppy was going to do. Yes, my fellow bloggers... my crazy little puppy was trying to find a spot to poop in the back window. Out of nowhere Cary slams on the break, now... I know that the logic is there... He intended for Franky to plop down on the back seat and calm down long enough for Cary to pull over to a place where Franky could use the bathroom. But instead of that happening Franky flew across the back seat, bounced off the passanger head rest, and plopped on the floor. There was poop everywhere. We were not nearly fast enough for our little pooch.

If the trip to Oklahoma was this interesting I wonder what the trip back will be like!

Death and Wal-Mart

We almost had a death in the family this evening. It was scary. Everything is fine now, he's resting comfortably now. I mean, I don't know what we would have done with out our TV. It's just...the clicking, I'll never get it out of my mind again! Take the kids, or the dogs... just not our TV!

OK, not really... we'll keep the dogs. HA!

Today was a pretty good day. Cary has an entire week off and this is day one. By the end of this week I might be losing my mind. Don't get me wrong Cary is the love of my life, soul mate, my best friend. I couldn't imagine sharing my life with anybody else in this world. It's just that we need to be apart from those we love, to appreciate them. Don't judge me. You spend an entire week with one person, with no money, and two sniffling kids (now Cary is getting sick) and tell me how that week goes. But like I said, I wouldn't do it with anybody else.

We went around town today. Rose Bud, AR has this great little coffee roasterie which we buy THE BEST coffee I've ever had. It's a nice little trip. We get the kids out of the house and we feel like we accomplished something. Today the little roasterie's coffee grinder was broken so we got whole bean. Totally not a big deal, Wal-Mart has a coffee grinder for like $15. The problem was that we brought both dogs. Usually where ever we go, the dogs tag along, unless it's hot or freezing. Doggy is used to being in the car and waiting for us to run into Wal-Mart or a restaurant. But or new little one, Franky, I was afraid he would poop in the car or get on Doggy's bad side and I didn't even want to think about that. Doggy is very well tempered, he's just getting to know Franky... you know how dogs are. Anyway, Cary and I had the obligatory conversation of who would stay in the car, who will go inside, or he will take one kid and I'll stay with the other, or we'll all go in. Really, we go threw every scenario there is. So after we decided we would all go in I thought it was a great idea to take Franky with us. My diaper bag is big enough for him plus one more dog so I figured it would be fine. Franky slept most of the car ride and I was sure he would curl up and sleep in the diaper bag. I stuck him in there, walked across the parking lot and he did fine. I walked into the store and got a shopping cart... and there was Franky popping up and climbing out of the bag. Jaxson is in the bakery grabbing as many doughnuts he could, Cary and Evelyn are long gone, and the dog is trying to escape. I tried to stuff Franky back into the bag and grab Jaxson at the same time and I failed miserably. Remember, this is just as we walked in the store. At this point, already, I'm regretting this "brilliant idea" of mine but I keep on going. OK, so now everybody is looking at me because Jaxson is crying and I'm holding onto my bag like it's my only life line. Some how we made it to the coffee grinders and I'm in the isle trying to calm this puppy of mine down when a Wal-Mart employee walked by me as my puppy barked. I really truly in my heart think the employee thought I was barking at him.. which... in my younger days wasn't THAT unusual, but that's a different story. You know those awkward sitcom moments when the main character gets caught doing something they shouldn't and they have that "I didn't do it" smile. That was me. At that point I was exhausted but I still needed to locate my husband and daughter. Which, by the way, they were on the other side of Wal-Mart in the electronics. I had to walk around the store with a crying child and a barking puppy. It was interesting to say the least. By the time we were at the check out it looked like I tried to rob half the store the way I was holding my jacket (I thought if I held Frank he would have done better, but that was another failed attempt at my "brilliant idea"). I was never so happy to see a Wal-Mart parking lot in my life. We packed up in the car and I looked at Cary and said, "lesson learned".

Now that the TV is fine, Jaxson decided to watch a movie. You haven't lived until you watch Madagascar 2 in Spanish.

First Blog

I don't really know how to start a blog, or even how to write one. So I will treat it like a first date... except on first dates I usually ended up with my shirt off. I will spare you the gruesome details, for now, and tell you I have came a long way from that "half naked on the first date" girl. That girl would have never thought she would be an expert in diaper genies and diaper rash creams. But for real, Diaper Champs are so much better. I honestly could write an entire blog just on the difference of Diaper Genies and Diaper Champs.
But I guess as long as we're just getting to know each other I will spare you from that long boring monologue and tell you more about my family. Aren't you a lucky, lucky person.
I am 24, I am married, and I have two children. Jaxson Henry is 4, and Evelyn Lee is 10 months. My husbands name is Cary and he works in the oil field. He's gone a lot but I think that's how we make our relationship work. See... I'm what you call strong willed. Some people confuse that with spoiled, other people confuse it as sarcastic and bitchy. I am here to set the record straight and tell you that I am all of those things. Yes, there is no denying. I'm of German decent and I am one of 32 grandchildren. So that makes me loud and strong willed.
So now if you can picture a hyper loud German stuck in the house with two kids and a husband you get the sitcom of my life. Are you interested yet? I think you are.
I'm looking forward to start blogging. Cary told me I should do it, I just didn't think life as a stay at home mother would be that interesting. Then my mother told me I needed to start one. See, I got in a fight with my Wii Fit and she thought it was hilarious. But in retrospect I often fight with objects. My favorite food is hot dogs and fried potatoes, tell me you wouldn't fight with the stupid thing. In fact it asks you why you gained weight. You actually have to put an answer in. I don't know why I gained weight, I like to eat and I hate to exercise so you tell me what my problem is. It made me accountable for my own actions and I feel like I am so close to perfect, how dare you think I'm not!
Well, that's all for now. I have a few children that need my attention.