A Man and His TV

A few ways to test your marriage: buy and put together one of those wooden play swings for your kids or drive for long distances.

We have done both. The latest was driving from Oklahoma, to Arkansas, then back to Oklahoma. And why would we do this you ask? Because Cary had to get his TV... I'm not kidding. OK OK, he had to get his paycheck so the trip wasn't a total waist. Also, we decided to move back to Oklahoma. We're just not very good Arkansans. So, Cary quit his job and found another one, and he officially starts on Monday. We decided to run to Arkansas to tie up some loose ends, get his paycheck, and his TV. I use the term "run to Arkansas" loosely, since it's about a six hour drive to our house. Have you done the math? Twelve hour drive. And that is with no stops. We had Evelyn so of course we made about twenty.

I was going to drive out, since it was beautiful outside it was nice and safe for me. There is no way I was going to drive at night in the rain and snow. I crossed the border and this is where I decided that Semi Truck Drivers have it harder than I ever thought they did. I would make a very BAD over the road trucker. What part of "Slower Traffic Keep Right" is so hard? You have 15 people tailgating you, get the hell over to the slow lane! Your car has cruise control for a reason, USE it. I spent at least an hour fighting with the stupid driver in the fast lane. I would pass her, she would pass me. Then she would get in front of me and slow down. At this point I was screeeeeaming at her, cursing her and swearing that if I was the semi truck her dumb driving would no longer be a problem.

We got to the house in Arkansas and, thankfully, I didn't run anybody off the road. We gave ourselves an hour to get everything we needed and get back on the road before it started to snow. First thing on the list? You got it, the TV. We got it in the garage just to find out that it wasn't going to fit in our car. All the sudden I had a light bulb idea. Take the base off! Genius. It would slide right in, perfectly. Cary got down to the last bolt and it was stripped out. He had a light bulb idea. Turn the base and it would unscrew the last bolt. OK, yes... it was a redneck idea. But I thought it would work out fine. It was working out great, until the base got stuck. Cary and I looked at each other with dumbfounded looks on our face and in that split second the base fell and broke into a million little pieces on my foot. Lets just say that Cary would have made a great sailor with all the words that were spewing out of his mouth. And in true Amy fashion I was laughing until tears were running down my face. What else can you do when something like that happens?

So now Cary is mad and it's his turn to drive. Not the greatest combination in the world. He'll start on something and we'll end up meeting the side of the road. When we crossed the boarder going in to Oklahoma it started to rain. As I was listening to the rain beat on the window of the car I realized that I needed to be away from my loving husband. Far, far away. I have spent way too much time with the love of my life and it was time to get out of the car. Too bad I had another three hours to go. It started raining extremely hard. I am not good in heavy rain and thunderstorms. I'm fine in my own house but rough weather really stresses me out. Between me and Cary you could cut the tension with a knife. Then it started snowing.

Why do people think they are invincible? The guy in front of us decided to go for a ride in the slush and slam into the concrete barrier. That stressed me out even more. I wanted to go home, and Cary... my sweet husband, was going to pull over to the side of the highway, in the snow, to help this guy. I FREAKED out on him. I went over to the deep end at that moment. I felt my blood pressure raise. Cary was in the driver seat laughing as hard as I was when the TV stand broke. When somebody is at their breaking point, don't mess with them! We counted ten cars that had spun out and hit the wall. This was not helping me. Some how, by the grace of God, we made it to my mother's house alive. So did the TV.

Now, my husband bought me New Moon as a make up gift. Shhhhh no more talky talky!