Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Beach Balls and Glass Doors

It's been two weeks...ish since we moved in with my mom. We actually are moving our stuff in this weekend and then it's a few more weeks until we get our house. I put the deposit on the house today in fact.

I decided, since I had the car and errands to run, that I needed to kidnap Heather. Here's something to chew on, every time Heather and I run around together I feel like the cops are watching me more than they usually do. I know it's probably in my head but Heather brings out the best... and worst... in me. The worst is, I act like a 16 year old again. Not only a 16 year old, but a 16 year old that normal blue collared adults are scared of. The best is... well... I'll let you know when it happens. ;)

We had a full day today, pay the deposit, oil change, and Target. We even made a trip to the park with Katherine. After all was done and over with (and I didn't get pulled over, or arrested) it was time to take Heather and Makayla home. On our way to her house we saw a beach ball blow across the road. It survived threw four lanes of rush hour traffic and the little beach ball landed in a ditch. It wouldn't have been such a sad sight if it wasn't for the four little boys standing by the fence looking like they just lost their puppy. Heather just looked at me and I knew we were thinking the same thing. I made a U turn and all but stopped traffic just to get the silly ball. I turned my hazards on and before I even stopped, Heather had the door open ready to pounce. She looked like a cat hunting a mouse. She's really good at high pressure activities, like chasing beach balls in the middle of rush hour... just an example. Needless to say, the kids were very happy to have their ball back.

Later that evening Cary came home after a long hard day. He's been trying to quit smoking and it's been a pretty rocky month. Not only is he trying to quit smoking but we're staying with my parents until our house is ready, moving, and he started a new job. My poor husband can't catch a break. If you have ever tried to quit smoking you know how hard it is, but just so we're all clear your spouse feels your pain. As soon as he came in the door he was ready for a fight. He got me all huffed up and I was ready to let him have it. I got up from where I was sitting and I headed outside so we wouldn't fight in front of the kids. OK, I know fighting in front of the neighbors isn't a great idea either but I weighed my options and thought it was best. I unlocked the door and opened it, successfully. You know how you open a door and walk threw it at the same time? I tried to do that. Emphasis on the word "tried". I was still running my mouth to Cary and I ran smack in to the glass door, both the front doors were locked and I only opened the first one. I cursed myself but couldn't help but laugh at my situation. The fight lost it's fire after that. Thank you God for good timing.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

New Challange

New Car - Check
New Job - Check
NEW HOUSE?! - Check

That's right, we're moving back! We found a wonderful house in NW OKC. Here is the catch, we can't move in until April 8th, or even later. That means we'll be lucky enough to stay with my parents...

Anybody that has moved back in knows how much of a big deal that is. Not to say my parents are crazy... but they are crazy. Parents will always be parents no matter how old they are, or you for that fact. The way you do something isn't the way they do something and thats when we start to butt heads.

So say a little prayer for everybody involved! I will keep you posted!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

A Man and His TV

A few ways to test your marriage: buy and put together one of those wooden play swings for your kids or drive for long distances.

We have done both. The latest was driving from Oklahoma, to Arkansas, then back to Oklahoma. And why would we do this you ask? Because Cary had to get his TV... I'm not kidding. OK OK, he had to get his paycheck so the trip wasn't a total waist. Also, we decided to move back to Oklahoma. We're just not very good Arkansans. So, Cary quit his job and found another one, and he officially starts on Monday. We decided to run to Arkansas to tie up some loose ends, get his paycheck, and his TV. I use the term "run to Arkansas" loosely, since it's about a six hour drive to our house. Have you done the math? Twelve hour drive. And that is with no stops. We had Evelyn so of course we made about twenty.

I was going to drive out, since it was beautiful outside it was nice and safe for me. There is no way I was going to drive at night in the rain and snow. I crossed the border and this is where I decided that Semi Truck Drivers have it harder than I ever thought they did. I would make a very BAD over the road trucker. What part of "Slower Traffic Keep Right" is so hard? You have 15 people tailgating you, get the hell over to the slow lane! Your car has cruise control for a reason, USE it. I spent at least an hour fighting with the stupid driver in the fast lane. I would pass her, she would pass me. Then she would get in front of me and slow down. At this point I was screeeeeaming at her, cursing her and swearing that if I was the semi truck her dumb driving would no longer be a problem.

We got to the house in Arkansas and, thankfully, I didn't run anybody off the road. We gave ourselves an hour to get everything we needed and get back on the road before it started to snow. First thing on the list? You got it, the TV. We got it in the garage just to find out that it wasn't going to fit in our car. All the sudden I had a light bulb idea. Take the base off! Genius. It would slide right in, perfectly. Cary got down to the last bolt and it was stripped out. He had a light bulb idea. Turn the base and it would unscrew the last bolt. OK, yes... it was a redneck idea. But I thought it would work out fine. It was working out great, until the base got stuck. Cary and I looked at each other with dumbfounded looks on our face and in that split second the base fell and broke into a million little pieces on my foot. Lets just say that Cary would have made a great sailor with all the words that were spewing out of his mouth. And in true Amy fashion I was laughing until tears were running down my face. What else can you do when something like that happens?

So now Cary is mad and it's his turn to drive. Not the greatest combination in the world. He'll start on something and we'll end up meeting the side of the road. When we crossed the boarder going in to Oklahoma it started to rain. As I was listening to the rain beat on the window of the car I realized that I needed to be away from my loving husband. Far, far away. I have spent way too much time with the love of my life and it was time to get out of the car. Too bad I had another three hours to go. It started raining extremely hard. I am not good in heavy rain and thunderstorms. I'm fine in my own house but rough weather really stresses me out. Between me and Cary you could cut the tension with a knife. Then it started snowing.

Why do people think they are invincible? The guy in front of us decided to go for a ride in the slush and slam into the concrete barrier. That stressed me out even more. I wanted to go home, and Cary... my sweet husband, was going to pull over to the side of the highway, in the snow, to help this guy. I FREAKED out on him. I went over to the deep end at that moment. I felt my blood pressure raise. Cary was in the driver seat laughing as hard as I was when the TV stand broke. When somebody is at their breaking point, don't mess with them! We counted ten cars that had spun out and hit the wall. This was not helping me. Some how, by the grace of God, we made it to my mother's house alive. So did the TV.

Now, my husband bought me New Moon as a make up gift. Shhhhh no more talky talky!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

111 Miles to Graceland

Cary and I woke up this morning and I, for whatever reason, wanted to go on a ride. I was fine just driving around little towns in Arkansas, maybe find a little unknown place to eat, then go home. Cary looked at the map and decided that Hot Springs, AR looked like a good place to take a drive.

We got into Little Rock where he "took a wrong turn" and some how ended up on the way to Memphis, TN. Cary doesn't get lost, especially in the southern states, he was an over the road driver and he knows those highways pretty well. He looked at me with this "up to something" smile. And we started our adventure to Graceland. For those of you who know me, know that this was a childhood dream that came true. While most kids loved Hanson, N*Sync, and Back Street boys, I was the weird kid who liked Elvis. Growing up I had curtains, bears, pillows, tee shirts, Elvis action figures. I knew every song, I watched all the movies, I can even do the Elvis lip.

We took a right onto Elvis Presley Blvd. and I could hardly contain myself. To make things even better I was listing to Suspicious Lies when we pulled up and I was dancing in the car with a cheesy smile on my face. We got our tickets (VIP is the only way to go) and we were on our way to Elvis' house. The thing about the house is that you can't bring strollers in. My baby girl is just a baby... but not a normal sized 11 month old. She's as big as an 18 month old baby. And by 18 months they can usually give you a break and walk a few steps. Even at 11 months some kids can walk, but not mine. Cary graciously carried her threw crowded rooms and tight hall ways, bumping people and walls as we walked by. Not only was the house full of people in small, tight spaces but on top of that Evelyn was letting them loose. My baby had gas. But on the upside people didn't follow too close to us. My hands were full of stuff that we couldn't leave behind in the stroller, and I was hanging onto Jaxson so he wouldn't run into the restricted areas and end up breaking something. This was also the start of "Mommy, I'm hungry" even though we just ate. All of this while trying to listen to the head set they give you when you start the tour and take as many pictures as my camera could hold.

Thankfully we made it with out getting thrown out, just in time to walk the grounds in the rain. Now usually I would call it a day and come back some other time, but we dropped $140 already and I was going to get my money worth, God was looking out for us and our wallets because it didn't rain too hard.

After I got all the pictures I could of the house it was time to go across the street to look at the cars and airplanes. The bus came to pick us up, Jaxson ran to the back and I sat next to him. Another "Mommy I'm hungry" popped out of him mouth, and of course another "We will eat in a minuet" popped out of mine. We were in the shuttle before Cary and Evelyn were so we just made ourselves comfortable until they arrived. Since Cary carried Evelyn threw the entire house he plopped down at the first seat he could get to, he turned to me and asked me to move to the front with him. I giggled and I said "Don't you remember that the cool kids sit at the back of the bus?" In true Cary fashion, he did not miss a beat, said "Yes baby, you are the coolest kid I know, in the back of the short bus". Thanks honey, I love you too.

Another "Mommy I'm hungry"

I just want to know what it is about breakable items that a 4 year old (and clumsy husbands) are so attracted to. As soon as we were in the gift shop his (their) hands were on EVERYTHING. And, as you know, gift shops are extremely over priced. It was like chasing a Jack Russel in an ice storm, I couldn't get my hands on him, he would turn, and then he was gone in a flash.

"Mommy, I'm hungry and I want to see the airplanes"

One more stop before the airplanes and Jaxson decided to have a complete meltdown out of nowhere. I'm in Graceland and my child is having a melt down. Elvis himself was laughing at me, I just knew it.

"Mooooooooooommy.... I'm huuuuuuuuungry", "Jaxson, honey, we're going to the airplanes and then we'll get something to eat".

Walking into the "Lisa Marie" was amazing. Even the seat belt clips were 24 ct. gold. Everything is covered in heavy clear vinyl to protect the furniture. Jaxson was a perfect angel, until we got to the back of the plane and decided that the thick vinyl didn't need to be on the bed anymore. I stopped, my eyes got huge, and I didn't know what else to do other than run. So that's what I did... I ran out of the airplane with Jaxson's hand in mine. I ditched Cary and Evelyn, I was sure Cary acted like he didn't know us anyway.

There was one more store and walk threw and we were going to go eat. By this time Jaxson wouldn't stop saying he was hungry. We had plans to eat at this great chicken place my mother told us about, after we looked at everything. There is a place called Rockabilly's in Graceland but it's $15 for a burger and Jaxson doesn't eat that much. As we walked by Rockabilly's Jaxson threw himself into the window and proclaimed he was not going anywhere. He wanted to eat there and that was as far as he was going. Some how we talked him into the car, got lost, and ended up at Applebee's.

All and all, we had a blast. Jaxson is a great kid, he's funny and witty. I love to write about him and his crazy ways.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

ADHD

On Wednesday my wonderful cousin, Kiele, had her first baby so I decided that I needed to see her and that beautiful baby. That's right folks, another Bishop road trip. This time Cary had to work and I was all alone with my two crazy offspring. The road trip up there was uneventful, nobody threw up, bled, or died. That makes for a very nice trip.



That Friday, Katherine and I took the kids to the park to fly kites. It was three kids against two adults and guess who won...



I think they would have beat her with sticks if I wasn't there.

When it was time to leave my great hometown of Oklahoma City I realized how much I missed my husband. I never knew, until today, how much he does for our family. I packed up the car by myself, I don't know how Cary does it. Everything is a puzzle piece and he carefully selects a certain object to go in a certain place. He makes it look like no big deal. For a normal person it shouldn't be a big deal. Me on the other hand stuffed, pulled, and pushed. I was going nowhere. There were legs, hair, and arms thrown in the air. By the end of it I was drenched in sweat and ready to get on the road. We said our goodbyes to my parents and I was getting excited to get going and see my husband. I was ready to get on the open road and relax. For whatever reason I was really anxious and couldn't calm down. I don't know if it was Veggie Tales blaring in my ears or the gridlocked I 40, maybe it was the constant ringing of my phone (which was stuck under my seat). Whatever it was some how we made it out alive. The kids even fell asleep for a little bit.

Here is something interesting about me, I have three hours of Veggie Tale songs on my iPod and even when the kids are asleep I still listen to it. AND I know all the words, I didn't know I knew the words but there I was singing along by myself with the kids asleep.

Around Shawnee,OK Evelyn woke up grunting. If you have kids you will know that sound very well. I figured I might as well put gas in the car and change her at the same time. Here is another "I miss Cary" moment. I guess I don't pump my own gas... ever. I started yelling at the stupid pump for not working the way they did when I was 16. I don't know what zip code my bank is in, why is that even necessary?! After that little fiasco I pushed the button for the gas I needed, and pushed it... and pushed it again. And cancelled, then tried it again. Then I realized that I was pushing the stickers, not the buttons. It's moments like these that give blonde's a bad name.

I got the gas and was on my way home, it felt like it took forever to get to Arkansas. I crossed the boarder and had another three hours to go. As soon as I made it into Arkansas ADD kicked in and I wanted to be done driving. I started bouncing in the driver seat. ADD quickly turned into ADHD and all of the sudden I was acting like an ADHD child in church, in the middle of prayer. I actually started making faces at people when I drove by them. And just to get some entertainment I would drive slow in the fast lane. How annoying is that?! I don't know what my problem was but I'm so glad to have my wonderful husband back. When I got home there was roses in the kitchen table. I am so grateful and blessed to be so spoiled.

Monday, March 1, 2010

New Car

I was right, the road trip going home was interesting. But before we get to that let me back track. We had a great time in Oklahoma City. I spent half of Saturday with my mom, spent some time with my friends and their wonderful kids, took care of some loose ends, and Cary even bought me a new car. We had a wonderful time.

The thing with a brand new off the lot car is that you're so careful not to spill anything in it and you drive it like it's going to scratch if somebody looks at it the wrong way. You're so careful that all your effort is waisted. I drove it home from the dealership and I was finally calming down from the chaos. (Evelyn would not stop crying, and there is nothing in the world like a mad baby while you're signing your life away for a loan. And you know they never hurry when you're stressed out.) I was on the Kilpatrick Turn Pike when I noticed a car on the side of the road. Naturally I got into the left hand lane to pass him. What I did not notice was his front bumper laying in the left hand lane, which I ran over. It was the most awful sound I have ever heard. I said a few choice words and Jaxson started hysterically laughing and telling me he was going to tell Daddy. Have you ever had to beg to a four year old to keep his mouth shut? It's not that easy. We made it home without anything else going wrong, and of course I kept my eye on the rear view mirror just to make sure my car wasn't going to lose anything.

The next day Cary had to take the car up to the dealership to get detailed and to fill out the warranty paperwork. That night my mother said she would watch the kids for a date night. Of course we ended up fighting. It's not that we fight a lot, we really don't, it's that all of our fights end up being a hilarious story. We decided to cut our losses from the night and went home to my mother's house. Now, the house is on a hill. Not a steep hill but the car is very low. He backed up and hit the curb with the back bumper, pulled forward and I swear half the car was hanging by one screw. Of course he fixed it but now there is a huge scratch on the bumper. That's when I decided to come clean about my little incident. I didn't feel so bad now, my boo boo wasn't nearly as bad as his.

We had a great time in OKC but all good things come to an end. So we packed up and we were on our way home. I drove half way there with nothing happening. I pulled into a Shell gas station for a gas, diaper change, potty break and then Cary would drive the rest of the way home. An hour into the exchange Doggy jumped into my lap with something all over him. I cleaned him up with baby wipes, and I reluctantly looked in the back seat to see what it was. Being a mother has taught me not to ask a lot of questions, but there are some things I can't ignore. Sure enough the puppy threw up in the back seat and all over my poor ole Doggy. To make matters worse Jaxson saw it. Jaxson has a VERY weak stomach and can't handle any bodily fluids from anybody... or anything. As soon as I saw his eyes look down I knew we were in trouble, and he threw up ON the puppy.

I really miss that new car smell...