Stealing

I don't even know where to begin. The last few weeks have been crazy. Cary quit his job, and got another one. He is a Halliburton man, again. My new neighbors threatened to call the cops on our, and I quote, "Loud coffee night." It's not MY fault that you put your kids down at 8:30. Sooo...

Today, by far, has been the most interesting of them all. Yes, even more than cop calling neighbors. Today was Big Trash Day. It really should be considered a national holiday. Not to mention the kick off to garage sale season was on Friday. There is only one other thing in the world better than getting other people's crap for cheap. Getting other people's crap for freeeee. And by free, I mean going threw their trash.

We started the day by grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. Can I just say that I loathe Wal-Mart. The parking is horrible, the shoppers are always pissed, and the employees are rude. If you manage to get threw all of that, you have a line to wait in that's at least a quarter of a mile long. I'm usually in a happy mood, and I talk to my kids, not ignore them like 90% of the people that shop there. I always get people staring at me, which I'm pretty used to and I don't care anymore. I love my kids and they are my family. ANYWAY, before I rant, lets get back on track. One year-old babies can't talk, when they want something they grunt, or scream, or however they get your attention, regardless they can't talk. So I was grunting right along with Evelyn, people staring, some of them smiling. When out of nowhere a Wal-Mart employee covered his ears and complained about the noise. I said "You work at Wal-Mart, this is what kids do. You should be used to it. Get over it." He mumbled something about my kids. I honestly couldn't understand him but my Momma Bear claws came out and I ripped him a new one. I don't even know what I said, but I'm sure it wasn't what a Christian woman should say! I could not stop the words from oozing out of my mouth I was so steaming with anger. I will do ANYTHING not to shop at Wal-Mart, and now I remember why!

After Wal-Mart, it was off to pick up Heather. She's our little house elf, and we like to have her around. She told us to stop by the store so she could pick up some sodas for tonight. I know I don't have to say this, but we didn't go to Wal-Mart.

On our way back from Crest, Cary was cruising threw the neighborhood. My heart stopped when I found a perfectly good outdoor table just sitting out in the open waiting for trash day. All it needed was a little paint and it would be good as new. I all but kicked Cary out of the car to get it. He pulled it to the car and opened the back hatch. And looked... and saw his new pride and joy, a charcoal grill. Now we have a dilemma, three adults, two kids, one dog, a table, and a grill. What to do, what to do. Cary was NOT going to leave his grill, so he set the table in the car, sat down in the back of the car and held on to the grill while I drove home. Yes, ladies and gents, I was dragging the grill behind the car. No man left behind! I guess in this case it would be no grill left behind.

As I was driving in excess of five miles an hour, with my husband in the back holding on to my table and dragging his grill behind us and telling me to slow down, we had a disaster. The wheels came off of the grill! All I heard was steel scraping the pavement and "WE HAVE A MAN DOWN!" coming from Cary. His solution: tell us to drop off the table and come back for him. He is really in love with this grill. So that's what we did. I even kicked the dog out of the car and left him at home and turned around to get Cary.

This is something that I love about Oklahoma, the neighbors will come out and help you load stolen trash into your car. While laughing, mind you.

You wouldn't believe what people throw away. Today we found a table, grill, 3 lawn chairs, 2 side tables, 2 hose reels, an umbrella for my new table, a lawnmower, and a battery powered kid Jeep. And the day before we found an entertainment center, it looks brand new, it's just missing the glass. Which is fine because I'm putting it in Jaxson's room.

Thank you, God. Thank you for not putting the embarrassment gene in my DNA. Life is so much better when you're not worried about what people are saying. It's fun dancing in the isles of Crest with your bestie. Or stealing a grill with your husband.

Moving Day- Part 2

Can I just take a second to thank my mother for putting up with our mess and my father for putting up with my mother. I'm happy to say we are out of my parents house and into our own. I am also happy to say that everybody made it out alive.

The actual moving experience was good. We moved fairly quickly since all of our belongings were in the garage. Of course it had to rain, it wouldn't be moving day with out a little rain. And we picked up Heather to help.

We didn't have the kids with us so Cary, Heather, Doggy and I piled in the Uhaul. As we were unloading. Cary and Heather were carrying on, like they normally do. I swear they are just like siblings. I was in the truck literally throwing things. When you move as much as I do, you don't care if something breaks... OK, you do care... you just care less. Anyway, I threw out one of Jaxson's tents that look like a school bus. It has a little steering wheel and windows and doors, and Cary caught it, but after he caught it he unfolded it and put it on. To make things even weirder, Heather jumped in there with him and they started driving it around the garage. Making little car sounds and Heather said she was on the short bus. You know those moments in life that are just meant for you and your friends and somebody, an "outsider" sees one of those moments? That was Cary and Heather, our new neighbors walked up to greet us for the first time when they were dancing around the garage in their short bus. What a way to meet the neighbors! I was just happy that it wasn't me. It usually is.

After we got done with the Uhaul we ran to Wal-Mart. Let me just say, there is nothing like three grown adults in a Uhaul that need a shower.

The next day we moved the rest of our things. The make ready guy was still working on the house when we arrived. Every time Cary said anything about unloading the Uhaul, the guy came running in to ask Cary to help with something. After almost two hours of trying to get unpacked, my con artist husband pulled the guy aside and ended up with three beers and $30. Only Cary.

We finally got everything in the garage and my mom came over to help paint. Little did I know that I needed her to pep talk me before I cleaned the bathroom. How come black hair is the worst thing you can find in your drain? On a woman it's exotic and beautiful, but when it's stuck to your bath tub it makes you want to vomit. The worst part is, is that the black hair is everywhere. In the tub, toilet, the kitchen! But it gets even better, in the master bathroom. We had those shower doors, you know the ones that slide. I couldn't even look at them they were so nasty so I had Cary pull them off. Under the metal there was mold and BLACK HAIR. I'm surrounded.

Cary Bishop's Day Off

Interesting day, to say the least. The day started normal and boring. Coffee, breakfast, facebook. I usually do all those things at once. I decided I should start cleaning up and putting things together because we're moving at the end of this week.

By my third load of laundry I was feeling anxious, bored. Cary is working nights now so I decided he needed to be ambushed to relieve my boredom. Like any loving, caring wife I walked into the bedroom quietly. And I body slammed him. One of the many things that I love about my husband is that he's not stupid, he was actually ready for me and countered my attack. After our morning wrestling session (get your head out of the gutter) I got the kids ready to go out for the day.

We wanted to say hi to Grandma, and since she is a door greeter at Wal-Mart that's were we headed. As soon as we got in the car Evelyn fell asleep. When we pulled up to Wal-Mart, Cary decided to just run in the store since the baby was still asleep. After waiting, for it seemed like, forever I got in the driver seat to drive around the parking. I got to the second set of doors and I heard a blood curtailing scream and saw this kid (I say kid, but he was probley 20ish) running with a purse. At first I thought it was a couple of kids goofing around and decided it wasn't my business. Until the kid ran around the store to the back. I was on high alert and punched the gas to catch up to him. I was up next to him and I was going to open my door, Starkey and Hutch style but he turned a different direction. I actually thought of hitting him with my car, but remembered that hitting a person with your car is sort of illegal... He put his hands up like he was about to give up. I said "Give the the purse or go to jail, your choice" and I swear he was about to throw the purse and jet but instead she took off WITH the purse. DAMMIT! I couldn't get to him, he was gone. I dwelled on it for the rest of the day.

Cary told me how stupid I was for going after the guy, but I could tell he liked his little pit bull of a wife. He drove around until I was able to calm down, he even drove behind all the stores so I would feel like I did something. I knew Cary knew the guy was long gone but I loved how he humored me.

We ended up at Eldon Lion Park to talk a stroll, get the kids out in the sun. Did you know that the squirrels in that park will come up to you? It was the strangest thing. Jaxson would get behind the little animals and scare them. The squirrels must have gotten together because they started chasing him, and then Cary. There is nothing in this world funnier than a 6'4" man running from squirrels.

Moving Weekend, Part 1

It's official, I live in my parents garage. Hopefully our house will be ready in a few weeks, I just don't know if my body is willing to move all my crap again in such a short time.

On Friday Cary and I headed down to Beebe. My parents said they would watch the kids, so it was a child free weekend. It sounded great in our heads, but we miss our little rug rats. In true Bishop fashion, since it was moving weekend, it started to rain. All the way to Arkansas it was pouring down rain. And it wasn't just rain, it was monster rain drops. The kind of rain drops that want to eat your soul. When we pulled up to our house the rain dispersed and we started to put our things into boxes, cleaning the house, all and all got the house ready for the moving truck. In a stroke of brilliance I decided we should try to find the Budget Truck rental location. Turns out, you should make sure you have the correct address before you try to find where you're supposed to be. We spent 45 minuets trying to find the stupid place just to find out we weren't even in the right city.

The next morning, with the right address, we got our truck. We were even on time. The only people we had to help move us were... Cary and me... Even though I'm very experienced with moving I still hate doing it. I really truly HATE my couches. They are heavy, and I loathe the very thought of moving them again when we move into our Oklahoma house. On our way out of the front door with my stupid sleeper sofa, the wasps decided to come out and chase us. Cary was off the front porch and put the couch down right by the wasps nest! I was stuck between the couch and the front door. I didn't know I could jump that high and move that fast. I was NOT going to get stung. I jumped over the couch and was out by the street before Cary even started to laugh at me.

After a full day of moving everything we own in a 24' truck we headed back to Oklahoma. We made it all the way to Shawnee and had to pull over. We were so tired. Lucky us, we got to stay in a Motel 6. After getting the moving truck, gas, and food, that was all we could afford. Not too big of a deal since the kids weren't with us and we were so tired it didn't make a difference which hotel we stayed in, as long as it had a bed we were good. The walls were paper thin and half the night we heard, this very loud man, talking. I was half asleep so I couldn't make out what he was saying, but I wanted to slap him until he shut up. After I fell into a deep sleep I heard a baby crying. I all but kicked Cary out of the bed because I thought Evelyn was crying. I hate being that tired, but most of all I hate when people wake me up.

When we woke up our tummy's were rumbling. We were right off the highway and there is always a McDonald's off the highway. Since he was in a huge truck we went inside. I rolled down the window for Doggy, got my bag, and went inside. While Cary was ordering I got a table, hung my bag on my chair and fixed my coffee. After my delicious breakfast burrito we headed back out for the short 50 minuet drive to Oklahoma City.

I was so excited to see my babies, Jaxson ran out of the house and jumped in my arms. My dad gave me the left over money I had left them, and I put it in my back pocket. After I said my hellos and gave my kisses I ran into the bedroom to fix their Easter baskets. I put them on the front porch and went to the car to get my bag, were my camera is. I opened the door and it wasn't there. With a puzzled look on my face I walked in the house to see if I put it somewhere else. Nobody has seen it, so I went to the car again. Oh. My. Gosh. I left my bag WITH MY CAMERA in the McDonald's in Shawnee! I thought I was going to hyperventilate. Cary jumped on his phone to call the McDonald's and nobody would answer. I was thinking of the worst possible thing, that somebody stole my camera and how devastated I would be. After about 20 phone calls with no answer, somebody finally answered the phone, found my bag and the camera was still in it. I had a sigh of relief. I stuck my hand in my back pocket to retrieve the left over money so we could put gas in the car. And the money was gone. WHAT!? I looked in all my pockets, under the bed, in the car, in the moving truck, the garage. You name it, it was over turned. When I got done tearing up the garage I turned around to go inside. The handle on the door didn't turn but I was still walking and walked smack in the garage door. What is it with me, when I'm upset, and doors? It made me mad enough to turn around and walk threw the front lawn instead of the garage. And there was my money laying in the grass. We went to Shawnee to get my camera back in my possession, I was never so happy to see it.

I'm glad this weekend is O V E R. I feel blessed that we're back where we belong and that everything made it, even my camera and gas money. Now we start the count down for our new house!

Beach Balls and Glass Doors

It's been two weeks...ish since we moved in with my mom. We actually are moving our stuff in this weekend and then it's a few more weeks until we get our house. I put the deposit on the house today in fact.

I decided, since I had the car and errands to run, that I needed to kidnap Heather. Here's something to chew on, every time Heather and I run around together I feel like the cops are watching me more than they usually do. I know it's probably in my head but Heather brings out the best... and worst... in me. The worst is, I act like a 16 year old again. Not only a 16 year old, but a 16 year old that normal blue collared adults are scared of. The best is... well... I'll let you know when it happens. ;)

We had a full day today, pay the deposit, oil change, and Target. We even made a trip to the park with Katherine. After all was done and over with (and I didn't get pulled over, or arrested) it was time to take Heather and Makayla home. On our way to her house we saw a beach ball blow across the road. It survived threw four lanes of rush hour traffic and the little beach ball landed in a ditch. It wouldn't have been such a sad sight if it wasn't for the four little boys standing by the fence looking like they just lost their puppy. Heather just looked at me and I knew we were thinking the same thing. I made a U turn and all but stopped traffic just to get the silly ball. I turned my hazards on and before I even stopped, Heather had the door open ready to pounce. She looked like a cat hunting a mouse. She's really good at high pressure activities, like chasing beach balls in the middle of rush hour... just an example. Needless to say, the kids were very happy to have their ball back.

Later that evening Cary came home after a long hard day. He's been trying to quit smoking and it's been a pretty rocky month. Not only is he trying to quit smoking but we're staying with my parents until our house is ready, moving, and he started a new job. My poor husband can't catch a break. If you have ever tried to quit smoking you know how hard it is, but just so we're all clear your spouse feels your pain. As soon as he came in the door he was ready for a fight. He got me all huffed up and I was ready to let him have it. I got up from where I was sitting and I headed outside so we wouldn't fight in front of the kids. OK, I know fighting in front of the neighbors isn't a great idea either but I weighed my options and thought it was best. I unlocked the door and opened it, successfully. You know how you open a door and walk threw it at the same time? I tried to do that. Emphasis on the word "tried". I was still running my mouth to Cary and I ran smack in to the glass door, both the front doors were locked and I only opened the first one. I cursed myself but couldn't help but laugh at my situation. The fight lost it's fire after that. Thank you God for good timing.

New Challange

New Car - Check
New Job - Check
NEW HOUSE?! - Check

That's right, we're moving back! We found a wonderful house in NW OKC. Here is the catch, we can't move in until April 8th, or even later. That means we'll be lucky enough to stay with my parents...

Anybody that has moved back in knows how much of a big deal that is. Not to say my parents are crazy... but they are crazy. Parents will always be parents no matter how old they are, or you for that fact. The way you do something isn't the way they do something and thats when we start to butt heads.

So say a little prayer for everybody involved! I will keep you posted!

A Man and His TV

A few ways to test your marriage: buy and put together one of those wooden play swings for your kids or drive for long distances.

We have done both. The latest was driving from Oklahoma, to Arkansas, then back to Oklahoma. And why would we do this you ask? Because Cary had to get his TV... I'm not kidding. OK OK, he had to get his paycheck so the trip wasn't a total waist. Also, we decided to move back to Oklahoma. We're just not very good Arkansans. So, Cary quit his job and found another one, and he officially starts on Monday. We decided to run to Arkansas to tie up some loose ends, get his paycheck, and his TV. I use the term "run to Arkansas" loosely, since it's about a six hour drive to our house. Have you done the math? Twelve hour drive. And that is with no stops. We had Evelyn so of course we made about twenty.

I was going to drive out, since it was beautiful outside it was nice and safe for me. There is no way I was going to drive at night in the rain and snow. I crossed the border and this is where I decided that Semi Truck Drivers have it harder than I ever thought they did. I would make a very BAD over the road trucker. What part of "Slower Traffic Keep Right" is so hard? You have 15 people tailgating you, get the hell over to the slow lane! Your car has cruise control for a reason, USE it. I spent at least an hour fighting with the stupid driver in the fast lane. I would pass her, she would pass me. Then she would get in front of me and slow down. At this point I was screeeeeaming at her, cursing her and swearing that if I was the semi truck her dumb driving would no longer be a problem.

We got to the house in Arkansas and, thankfully, I didn't run anybody off the road. We gave ourselves an hour to get everything we needed and get back on the road before it started to snow. First thing on the list? You got it, the TV. We got it in the garage just to find out that it wasn't going to fit in our car. All the sudden I had a light bulb idea. Take the base off! Genius. It would slide right in, perfectly. Cary got down to the last bolt and it was stripped out. He had a light bulb idea. Turn the base and it would unscrew the last bolt. OK, yes... it was a redneck idea. But I thought it would work out fine. It was working out great, until the base got stuck. Cary and I looked at each other with dumbfounded looks on our face and in that split second the base fell and broke into a million little pieces on my foot. Lets just say that Cary would have made a great sailor with all the words that were spewing out of his mouth. And in true Amy fashion I was laughing until tears were running down my face. What else can you do when something like that happens?

So now Cary is mad and it's his turn to drive. Not the greatest combination in the world. He'll start on something and we'll end up meeting the side of the road. When we crossed the boarder going in to Oklahoma it started to rain. As I was listening to the rain beat on the window of the car I realized that I needed to be away from my loving husband. Far, far away. I have spent way too much time with the love of my life and it was time to get out of the car. Too bad I had another three hours to go. It started raining extremely hard. I am not good in heavy rain and thunderstorms. I'm fine in my own house but rough weather really stresses me out. Between me and Cary you could cut the tension with a knife. Then it started snowing.

Why do people think they are invincible? The guy in front of us decided to go for a ride in the slush and slam into the concrete barrier. That stressed me out even more. I wanted to go home, and Cary... my sweet husband, was going to pull over to the side of the highway, in the snow, to help this guy. I FREAKED out on him. I went over to the deep end at that moment. I felt my blood pressure raise. Cary was in the driver seat laughing as hard as I was when the TV stand broke. When somebody is at their breaking point, don't mess with them! We counted ten cars that had spun out and hit the wall. This was not helping me. Some how, by the grace of God, we made it to my mother's house alive. So did the TV.

Now, my husband bought me New Moon as a make up gift. Shhhhh no more talky talky!